Laura K Spencer, Ed.D.

Tag: #busynessculture

  • Stop Romanticizing the Grind: Why Misery Doesn’t Equal Meaning

    Stop Romanticizing the Grind: Why Misery Doesn’t Equal Meaning

    I’m done pretending that being miserable proves I’m doing something important.

    I’ve tried it. It just breaks things. Usually me.

    I ran into this quote on Instagram and it put words to something I’ve been feeling for a while now…

    “My competitive advantage is I’m having more fucking fun than you. Not because I don’t care. Because I care so deeply that I refuse to make it fucking miserable… I stopped romanticizing my suffering like I was some kind of war hero, and started romanticizing the kind of work I go to bed excited to wake up and continue.”

    That line about romanticizing suffering like a war hero?

    It stung.

    I care about the work. A lot. Learning… leadership… building things that actually help people. That part hasn’t changed. But my tolerance for the idea that being exhausted, overwhelmed, and quietly fried is proof of commitment?

    Gone.

    It’s not commitment. It’s just… unsustainable.

    Think about it like being out on the trail. You don’t need to know Land Rovers to get this… but if you’re off-roading and you hit unfamiliar terrain, you don’t floor it. You don’t try to smash through obstacles just to prove your vehicle is tough.

    You slow down. You pick a line. You let the suspension work.

    White-knuckling the steering wheel feels like you’re doing something… feels intense. Productive. But it isn’t. It just means you’re tense, you’re missing the view, and you’re probably going to break an axle.

    Somewhere along the way, we decided work had to hurt to count. That joy meant you weren’t serious. That if you weren’t struggling, you weren’t trying hard enough. I’ve had bosses that equated pain to dedication, to success.

    I bought that story. For a long time.

    But I’m not interested in being a war hero for a meeting agenda or a quarterly report.

    I want to build things I actually want to come back to. Momentum. Curiosity. Room to breathe. Not “easy” work… just work that doesn’t require self-betrayal to get through the day.

    This isn’t about doing less. It’s about not burning the engine out before I get to the destination. Or even worse, not even see the view along the way.

    I used to think the misery was the point. But Jude’s right… “enjoying your life makes it much easier to keep showing up.”

    And I want to keep showing up.

    So, you can grind until you hate the work.

    “I’m gonna enjoy the work until I win.”

    That’s the plan for 2026.

  • Finding Clarity Again: How AI Helps Leaders Breathe, Pause, and Think

    Finding Clarity Again: How AI Helps Leaders Breathe, Pause, and Think

    In a directors meeting the other day, someone said something that hit everyone at once:

    “It’s a good time to come back to our values. It’s been busy. We need to get grounded again.”

    You could hear the collective sigh of agreement.

    Because when things get too busy, it shows. You feel it in the way people talk, decide, rush.

    Busy takes over, and thinking goes out the window.

    Not because leaders don’t know how to think, but because they are reacting to everything thrown at them. All day. Every day.

    Years ago, I went through a comprehensive training with Ron Ritchhart on Cultures of Thinking and later attended Harvard’s Project Zero Summer Institute. The biggest lesson I walked away with?

    Your culture isn’t what you say you believe. It’s whatever your behavior proves you believe.

    And if i’m being honest, most leaders unintentionally show that speed matters more than clarity.

    “Just get it done” becomes the vibe.

    This is where AI has actually helped me slow down.

    Not to do the work for me.

    To force a pause.

    Simple example:

    If I’m about to send a decision or a tough email, I’ll drop it into AI and ask,

    “What assumptions am I making here?”

    Ten seconds later, it shows me the exact things I would have missed because I was rushing.

    It’s not magic.

    It’s a brake pedal.

    If we want teams that think, not just react, we have to model that pause ourselves.

    This is the first post in a short series on how leaders can use AI to create cultures where thinking actually happens.

    My question to you:

    Where in your work would a simple pause actually help you right now?

    And who else would benefit from reading this? Have them subscribe to the blog!