Laura K Spencer, Ed.D.

Category: Personal

Don’t Buy Me Flowers

My boyfriend and I have very different communication styles, especially when it comes to sharing our feelings. He’s just not the kind of guy who will bring me flowers, or leave me notes or proclaim his love for the world to hear.

So when we decided to pull weeds at about 7pm last night, the last thing I expected was this:

Him: “Hey Google, play ‘Tell Laura I Love Her.’”

Me: 😍

…And This Has to Do with Education How?

So why tell you this story when this blog is about education?

Because I know that, if relationship skills were to be assessed in school, my boyfriend probably wouldn’t get top scores. In fact, he may even be labeled as “at risk” or some other label equally obnoxious.

We have this narrow view in education of what success is, and how we measure it, and honestly, our measures seem to lack correlation to what success means in life. Not sure what I mean by that? Check out The Valedictorians Project.

Or read about Basil’s experiences in her piece, “Dear School, Eff Your F.”

Your education factory assembles each student in the same order, first this piece then the next. Units are assessed as they move down the line; the standards are high with little room for deviation. Those who fail inspection are stalled in production, the ones who pass are given certificates and sent out to market.
“Dear School, Eff Your ‘F’” by Anastasia Basil

I’m hopeful that we’ll one day get to the place where people aren’t measured against some arbitrary “norm” but instead are celebrated for their own skills and talents. Because hey, he may not buy me flowers, but my boyfriend brings me joy, and that’s a true measure of success.

P.S. If you don’t know the song, it’s a 1960 (somewhat tragic) love song by Ray Peterson.

July 11, 2019
Lucid Wonderings

I’ve been overwhelmed lately by life changes – my Navy daughter moved to the East Coast for her first duty assignment; my boyfriend and I bought a house; my work responsibilities have increased; and I have resumed teaching college courses parttime.

All of these changes had my mind and my heart going in a million different directions and as a result, my blog and my tweets and my readings have gone in a million different directions as well.

In that journey, i’ve come across some interesting reads. Here they are for you to explore as well:

“A Thousand Rivers” by Carol Black

Thanks to Will Richardson for this awesome find. As I grapple with cultural intelligence, a principle our district has called out as integral to student development, this article touched my heart on many levels. Black sets out to explain how we’ve gotten it all wrong in our focus on the science of learning because we have focused on the science of learning in schools, which is like “collecting data on killer whales based on their behavior at Sea World.” This short, pithy description doesn’t do it justice. Grab some hot cocoa or something, a cozy blanket, and settle in for an eye-opening, or life affirming, read.

“The Difference Between Fixing and Healing” by Rachel Naomi Remen

When I attended Deloitte U’s Courageous Principal Institute, they had us all take a business chemistry survey. I was designated a “Driver,” which means I am direct, logical, competitive, goal oriented, and tough minded. To that end, I tend to want to fix situations and move on so that they don’t divert me from my destination. This article reminded me that there is much in life that can not be fixed. Sometimes, the focus needs to be on healing. And it made me think, how often have we looked at our students, our children, as people needing fixing instead of humans needing healing. It’s a move that requires empathy, and time to really understand and connect. Something Drivers like me need to put more conscious effort into to ensure it happens.

“She Never Saw A Classroom Until College. Now She Has A Ph.D. And A Lot Of Thoughts About Education” by Catherine Brown

In this interview, Brown talks to Tara Westover, author of the bestselling memoir Educated. Westover was raised by survivalist, fundamentalist parents, and as a result, did not attend school as a child. It’s a fascinating interview, and I look forward to reading her book. In the article, Westover states, “Become educated but don’t let your education petrify into arrogance. Education should always be an expansion of your mind, a deepening of your empathy, a broadening of your perspective. It should never harden your prejudices. If people become educated, they should become less certain, not more. They should listen more, they should talk less. They should have a passion for difference and a love of ideas that aren’t theirs.”

That’s my approach these days… to try to listen more and talk less. So now I’d love to listen to you …

What are you reading and thinking these days? Would love to hear all about what’s resonating with you.

If you enjoyed this post, share the link to this post with two friends. Learning together is way more fun than learning on my own.

December 4, 2018
My Boyfriend Is Smarter Than Me…

I have five degrees. Five! An Associate degree, a Bachelor’s degree with a double major, a Master of Arts degree, a Master of Science degree, and a Doctorate in Education. I love school.

And yet, even with all those fancy certificates, my boyfriend is smarter than me. He’s a welder. No fancy college degrees. But he can build and create and fix and imagine in ways my brain can’t comprehend.

John fabricating seat mounts for our ’68 Jeep I nicknamed Wabi Sabi.

Case in point: We bought a Jeep. A ’68 Jeep that hadn’t been loved in a very long time. It had been parked in a field for 15 years, stripped of its elements and left abandoned to nature. No seats. No pedals. No steering assembly. All wiring stripped and sitting in a pile in the cab. Rusty nuts and bolts that belong somewhere filled a coffee can.

And yet he is rebuilding it. There’s no manual for this. No YouTube video series that connects all the dots. He has to figure it out. He IS figuring it out. Sometimes with parts that are there. Sometimes with new parts he is purchasing. And sometimes with parts he fabs up on his own. Watching him work mesmerizes me. His ability to see in three dimensions, and to understand the interdependency of systems and how they contribute to the overall form and function, is a form of genius I don’t possess.

I share all this with you not just because I am insanely proud of his skills (although I am!), but because I think it’s important to remember that there is not one best way to learn. As much as I love school and books and conversations about school and books, John would shrivel up in that environment.

Our experiences often have a greater impact on us than degrees ever will!
— Jonathan Spike (@Mr_JSpike)

When I started play teaching my dolls and neighborhood friends at age six, I knew everything and dispensed my knowledge to them through worksheets I drew, and books I read, and homework I made them complete (my poor friends!). When I started actual teaching twenty years later, not much had changed. I still made worksheets for my students, and read books with (and to) them, and assigned homework. Over the years, I learned and adapted to a 1:1 environment, and brought in Genius Hour and Project Based Learning. But sadly, and I am not proud to admit this, I controlled much of the learning structure in my room.

But our role as teachers is changing. We need to be cognizant of the needs of our learners. All our learners. Not just the ones that are compliant. Not just the ones that are college bound. Not just the ones that look like and sound like we do.

And part of that change is the realization that the best way to support a learner may simply be to get out of his/her way and let the learning figure itself out, like it does for John.

***

If you like Jeeps, or just watching things come to life, feel free to follow along via Instagram @wabisabi68jeep as we get this thing desert ready!

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June 19, 2018
There’s More to Her Than Meets the Eye

When school dress codes focus the majority of their attention on what girls should not be allowed to wear, it sends a message.

A powerful message.

A message that girls are the problem. Their bodies are distracting to boys. And that boys shouldn’t have to be responsible for curtailing their sexist behavior.

This needs to stop.

It breeds harassment. And misogyny. And a blame the victim culture.

Proud of my daughter for standing up for her rights. For her body. For her voice.

Take a few minutes and read her post. Words of support always loved:

There’s More to Me Than Meets the Eye

May 11, 2018
Countdowns Suck. Yes, I said it.

I wanted to write earlier…I really did. So many blog posts have been ruminating in my brain the past few weeks.

But I’ve had a major life event happen. And I needed time to process. And that meant taking a break from my blog.

So what happened? My oldest daughter, Alexandra, enlisted in the U.S. Navy. In fact, she leaves for basic training in 21 days. 30200 minutes.

I’m so insanely proud of her. Having served in the U.S. Army myself, I know how scary it can be to give control of your life over to the government in the name of freedom. But she did it, and not only did she do it, but she was chosen to participate in the cryptology program, which is the same program in which my dad served during the Vietnam War.

So if I am so proud, why haven’t I blogged? Because I am also scared to death! I vacillate between proud momma and “Oh my gosh… how will I survive eight weeks without talking to her, without seeing her, without knowing she is okay?”

The days are counting down until she leaves… 21 days… 30175 minutes since I started writing this blog post. 21 days until her exciting new life begins and my angst-ridden new life begins.

Makes me wonder how many of our students have similar angst with those “Countdown to Summer Vacation” signs that are found in so many classrooms these days. If a child’s summer is spent traveling to Hawaii, that countdown is amazing. If that summer is spent babysitting younger siblings or wondering if there is enough food for lunch and dinner, those numbers are pretty darn scary.

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May 8, 2018
Become a Better Human.

My 15 year old daughter started a blog. A blog to encourage and empower teens based on her experiences and views of the world. Her second post is titled, “…like a girl.” In it, she talks about the negative impact the statement “like a girl” has on girls, and that girls are just as “strong and capable of anything as males are.” It was a positive message of self-worth.

And yet, within an hour of sharing it on my Facebook page, it was attacked. In one comment, she was told that “men are stronger than women and she should face the facts of biology.” Other, similar comments followed.

The dominant male voice was, ironically, reinforcing my daughter’s point: “Together as women, we are intelligent, beautiful, and powerful human beings that shouldn’t be trampled on by derogatory expressions.” His messages, even when couched in conciliatory statements like “Don’t get me wrong, great intent…” sought to silence a young girl sharing her voice of empowerment by asserting superiority.

One thing I have learned from the voices rising up after the Marjory Stoneman Douglas shooting is that there are people who assume power comes hand-in-hand with freedom, and they are willing to do whatever it takes to silence any oppositional voice.

Our society defines freedom as “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.” That’s the biggest paradox of freedom: if nothing restraints how each person behaves, it will be absolute chaos. The bully would be free to enslave the meek. It will eventually mean that only those at the top are free, and those at the bottom — the weak — are not.
–Freedom is Not About Speaking Up but Choosing to be Silent

Our mission, as educators, is to build empathy and facilitate student voice and agency so they can positively advance the world. We want them to be, we need them to be, good humans. Better humans. Empathetic humans.

“For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains,
but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”
– Nelson Mandela

April 15, 2018