Laura K Spencer, Ed.D.

Category: Personal

Balancing Act: Fun Words from Around the World Celebrating Work-Life Harmony
Hey there, it’s been a while, right? Well, let’s get real – I’ve been MIA for a good reason: exhaustion. Not the “I need a power nap” kind, but the “I seriously need to set some boundaries” kind. So, for the past couple of years, I’ve been on a quest to master this balancing act. It’s been a rollercoaster with ups and downs, but I’m making progress. Yep, still tired, but also way more in tune with my passions and interests.

Recently, I jetted off to Europe for two weeks, and it hit me like a double espresso: Americans stand out like sore thumbs when traveling. We’re the ones sprinting from spot to spot, inhaling our meals, selfie-stick in hand. It’s like we’re on a mission to stress ourselves out! 🏃💨

But wait, there’s a twist. Other travelers? They’re the cool cats leisurely lounging at lunch for hours or sipping cappuccinos in Piazza del Duomo, savoring the moment instead of Snapchatting it. 🍝☕ What’s their secret sauce?

So, I embarked on a Google quest and even asked Chat GPT for some wisdom. Lo and behold, I discovered that other cultures have words that capture this balance like we’re chasing Pokemon. Work-life harmony? They’ve got it figured out.

So, buckle up, folks! In our warp-speed world, where work and play often collide, let’s journey through some snazzy words from around the globe that celebrate the magic of a well-balanced life.
1. Hygge (Danish): Denmark is often ranked among the happiest countries in the world, and part of the reason may be the Danish concept of “hygge.” Pronounced as “hoo-guh,” it embodies the coziness and contentment found in life’s simple pleasures, like sipping hot cocoa by the fireplace or spending quality time with loved ones.
2. Ikigai (Japanese): In Japan, “ikigai” represents the reason for being or the source of one’s happiness. It’s the sweet spot where your passions, talents, and what the world needs intersect. Finding your ikigai is a journey toward a fulfilling work-life balance.
3. Meraki (Greek): When you do something with “meraki,” you do it with soul, creativity, or love. It’s about putting your heart and soul into your work, which can make a significant difference in your job satisfaction and overall well-being.
4. Gemütlichkeit (German): Germans are known for their efficiency, but they also highly value “gemütlichkeit,” which means a sense of coziness and well-being. It’s about creating a welcoming, friendly atmosphere both at work and in your personal life.
5. Pura Vida (Spanish – Costa Rican): In Costa Rica, “pura vida” is more than just a saying; it’s a way of life. It translates to “pure life” and signifies living life to the fullest, embracing the moment, and not sweating the small stuff. It’s a great reminder that work is only one part of the equation.
6. Sisu (Finnish): The Finnish concept of “sisu” embodies resilience, determination, and guts. It’s about facing challenges head-on and not giving up, which is essential for achieving balance in the face of adversity.
7. Wabi-sabi (Japanese): Another gem from Japan, “wabi-sabi” celebrates the beauty of imperfection and transience. It encourages us to appreciate the beauty in the natural cycles of growth and decay, helping us find peace in our chaotic lives.
8. Fika (Swedish): In Sweden, taking a “fika” means taking a break for coffee and a chat with colleagues or friends. This simple practice promotes social interaction and relaxation, emphasizing the need to pause and recharge throughout the day.
In our fast-paced world, where the boundaries between work and personal life often blur, it’s essential to remember the importance of staying connected to your joys and passions. Whether it’s the Danish “hygge,” the Japanese “ikigai,” or the Spanish “pura vida,” each of these concepts reminds us that life is a multifaceted journey, and work should complement rather than consume it.

So, as you navigate the daily hustle and bustle, take a moment to embrace the wisdom of these words and strive for your own equilibrium. Remember, life is meant to be savored, not rushed through, and finding that perfect balance is the key to living a more fulfilling, joyful, and harmonious life. Cheers to a life well-balanced!
October 23, 2023
A Phone, a Pizza, and a Connection

My ex-husband lives a few hours away. He rents a small room behind a house in a not great part of town. When COVID hit, he got sick and lost his job. His car broke down around the same time. Because California’s unemployment system is so archaic, it took about six months for him to get any funds. And of course, that was after the federal stimulus ended.

When you don’t have a cash flow, you have to make choices as to what to prioritize. He prioritized his cell phone, and decided to use the hot spot as his wifi for his laptop.

Last week, my oldest daughter, with whom he shared a phone plan, decided to get her own phone plan. She transferred her phone number to the new service and let the previous provider know that she no longer needed their services.

Instead of cutting off her phone, they cut off his.

Of course, none of us knew this.

So when his children could no longer contact him, and his friend had also not heard from him in days, we all assumed the worst.

Today I called the cops to do a wellness check. When they called me an hour later, I was expecting them to ask me to come ID a body.

Instead, it was my ex, explaining that his phone was disconnected and he wasn’t sure how he was going to get to the phone company’s office to get it resolved. Remember, he has no car. And no phone.

That means no directory to look up the nearest phone company location. No Uber or Lyft to take you there. No internet to check email to see if there’s a message about the mix up.

After he told me he was alive, we hung up. (Can’t really have a long conversation on a police officer’s cell phone!) I called my daughter and explained the situation.

She called the phone company and explained what they did wrong. They restored his phone line. Only issue was that we had to somehow tell him that he needed to reboot his phone for it to work again.

Dang it!

The cop was long gone.

Now what?

My daughter had the great idea to send him something via Amazon with a note to reboot his phone. However, that would still be a day or two of waiting for the delivery to arrive and hoping he saw the little gift receipt note.

So I went to Domino’s pizza online and placed an order. The pizza that was our favorite when we dated almost 30 years ago. And I wrote in the delivery notes that I needed them to write a note on the box to reboot his phone.

It worked.

A modern carrier pigeon.. haha

But it made me realize just how much our world becomes a prison cell without access. No phone, no internet, no connection to the world.

How many of our students are in similar situations? And how are we bridging that divide? Do we need to start sending pizza boxes with lessons written on them?

Why doesn’t the federal eRate program include home internet costs? Why are we still, as a nation, treating internet access as a privilege instead of a necessity? Although I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since feminine hygiene products are still charged a value-added, or sales, tax, unlike the tax exemption status granted to other products considered basic necessities.

I’m grateful to Domino’s for helping me out today, but as a country, we have to do better than this. Our families deserve it.

September 26, 2020
Digital Detox Part 2
I’m starting to podcast my blog posts, so if you’d rather listen than read, check me out on Anchor, or any other podcast medium, under #CageFreeThinking. They aren’t polished and professional… just me talking.)

Okay, so I’m still working on the digital detox, and with mixed results. I think releasing the grip on the phone is harder than when I quit my six-pack a day Pepsi addiction!

The cards my daughter bought are helpful. They give me a moment to reflect on an alternative to scrolling Tik Tok videos for an hour. Here’s the cards I focused on this week:

Mute.
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"Mute. Silence combats the overstimulation we're all suffering from and turns our attention to what's going on inside."
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I’ve been intentionally focused on physical activity for a few weeks now to combat the sedentary work I do. One way I’ve been doing that is to get up and take a short walk every hour or two. In the past, this meant connecting my Air Pods and getting some steps in. But this past week I’ve learned to mute the noise and just take the walk without my tech. (Well, except for my Apple Watch because you gotta get that step count in! 😏)

Friday was my first time doing a full blown work out without music. I ran the convention center stairs downtown for 30 minutes and truly enjoyed the sound and scenery (which is the cover photo of this post). Seriously, how much have I been missing by constantly keeping my ears plugged up with tech, and noise?

It’s amazing how many sounds there are outside when you are intentional about hearing them. Right now, as I type this, my window is open and I can hear the finches as they enjoy the seeds I set out for them. I hear an airplane flying overhead, and ooh, I think a bird just took a bath in our fountain.

Think Positive.
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Think positive. Take social media offline and hand out some real 'likes' to friends, family, and strangers.
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On Tuesday I decided I needed a change of scenery and brought my laptop to UCSD’s Design Lab to work. The people there are amazing. Their creativity and deep thinking inspires me when I’m stuck on an idea. After a couple of them left for the day, I took a moment to leave Post-Its on their desk with a note letting them know just how awesome I think they are. One responded:

A few days later, while at a professional learning for our staff, a colleague handed me a thank you card, and like the text above, I didn’t realize how much I really needed that encouraging note.

This is important.

Both of my detox cards this week were important life lessons. Life lessons I knew, but needed to be reminded of anyway. Taking time to mute the noise and share positivity with others is definitely going to stay a part of my life routine.

How’s your detox going? Share an idea below…
January 21, 2020
Digital Detox
For Christmas, my daughter bought me a deck of cards. But they aren’t your ordinary cards. These are Digital Detox cards. On each one there is an idea of a way to be less reliant on digital technology. I knew I was having issues with my tech reliance, but getting those cards from my daughter really brought it home. So now, even though most of my job relies on technology, I’m now working on detoxing from it.

If you’re also feeling the need to put the phone down a bit more, here’s a few of the ideas that you may want to try:
- Challenge yourself to refrain from using any of your devices during the first hour after you wake up in the morning.
- Get some fresh air! When you do go out, make sure to leave your devices at home.
- Practice not responding immediately to every notification that comes up. Be more conscious of when you respond to things.
- Spend 10 minutes doing nothing, on purpose. Be still, be quiet, listen to the sounds, feel your breath and experience the sensations in your body.
I was going to try one a day, but Jordan thought I should stick with one for a week and see how it goes. I’ve been working on the fresh air one. I’ll admit that I do bring my phone (for photos like the one with this post), but I’ve been turning off notifications and just enjoying the weather a lot more.

Do you engage in any digital detox? Would love to hear what works for you. And I’ll periodically share different cards and how it’s going for me.
January 14, 2020
Discovering the Power of the Squiggly Line

When I was little, my dad was on the road a lot for work. So when he was home, we’d often go out to dinner so my mom could take a break from cooking. The best restaurants were the ones with plain, paper placemats because those were the ones in which creativity could flourish.

My dad would grab a pen from my mom, and draw a squiggly line on the placemat. My job, then, was to create something from the perceived nothing. Like looking for cloud animals, somewhere in that squiggly line was an animal, or an airplane, or something else just waiting to be discovered, and drawn, with the pen. When I finished my creation, we’d swap roles, and I’d create the squiggly line with which he would create.

A not-yet-invented motorbike I can ride to pick up the mail.*

This back and forth continued until the waiter inevitably ruined our creative masterpiece with my dinner plate. Back then, it seemed like a simple way to pass the time with a child anxious for her food. But now, I can look back and see a much greater result of those encounters.

It was in those moments that I learned the power of “ish.”

In Ish, by Peter Reynolds, the main character learns that drawing “ish-ly” provides more creative freedom than getting it just right.

For me, a young girl who struggled with perfection, this was an important learning. My mom was artistic, as were my uncle and my grandpa, so my self-judgment would often result in a desire to skip the creative aspects of any school project. “Ish” thinking helped me to set aside my negative self-talk and see the value in my creations.

In Creative Confidence: Unleashing the Creative Potential Within Us All, Tom and David Kelley explain that “striving for perfection can get in the way during the early stages of the creative process.” Unfortunately, schools don’t always provide the time, the space, the freedom to engage in the early stages of the creative process. The “ish” loses to the strive for perfection when learning is connected to an assignment with a deadline and an assessment.

Students need to learn “ish,” to value “ish,” and to believe in the power of a squiggly line. Squiggly lines aren’t about being perfect, or the best. And that’s what makes them perfectly ‘ish.”

*P.S. I created the above drawing to illustrate the squiggly line concept, and it was very hard for me to let go and just draw something… guess I need to start going out to eat with my dad more again!

P.P.S. This short video from Pixar Animation Studios shows how characters can be created from squiggly lines.

December 5, 2019
A Tribute to My Bestie

On July 31st, I lost my best friend. She died, unexpectedly, of a blood clot after battling breast cancer and undergoing reconstructive surgery.

Christine and me at the SDCOE Equity Symposium

Christine’s been my best friend since I moved to San Diego in 2000. Before her, friendships for me were fleeting. They came, they went, and that was life. But Christine… she was a different story.

I could fill this blog with stories about our friendship. Stories about us learning hip hop dancing – okay, failing to learn hip hop dancing. Although we could do the sprinkler and the lawn mower better than anyone… just ask our 8th grade students!

Or about the time we hauled the new kayak into the middle of her cul-de-sac and pretended to row the open ocean, all the time yelling, “Are we there yet?” for a yearbook video.

There are stories from our 14 hour bus trip to Reno that we thought was going to be on a train.

And stories about our attempt to start our own greeting card company.

Like I said, so many stories!

A couple years into our friendship, we were talking about growing old and Christine mentioned all the trouble we’d get into at the nursing home. I remember saying to her, “I won’t know you when I’m 80.” I’ll never forget the look on her face. In total seriousness, she said to me, “That’s the meanest thing you could ever say to me. Of course we’ll know each other. We’re besties.”

That day, she changed my perspective on not only friendship, but on life.

A few years later, we sat beside her mom Jean’s bed as her mom’s fight with cancer was coming to an end … we had been chatting light-heartedly while Jean slept when Christine’s brother Eric noticed that Jean had quietly passed away. I remember us talking about how she was able to finally let go because she knew we were all going to be okay.

Even though Christine may not be around when I’m 80 to perform all those old folk home antics, I have to believe that, like Jean, Christine knew everyone she loved was going to be okay because she made everyone better by knowing her.

They say the body is 70% water, but for Christine Fax-Huckaby, it was all heart. She was a passionate educator; a passionate animal advocate; a passionate fighter for equity; and a passionate wife, friend, and colleague. For 23 years, Christine touched the lives of students and staff as a public school teacher and mentor in both Lemon Grove and Sweetwater.

Christine was always a cheerleader for me.

She believed in the ability of each student to achieve his/her inner greatness, and never let them settle for less. She had just as much love for animals. Whether they were hers or not, Christine loved every fur baby she ever saw. She was constantly rescuing dogs and cats, finding them their fur-ever home. Although truth be told, a lot of times that home ended up being her own!

I’m sad without her in my physical life. Sad without her laughter, her jokes, and her unconditional love.

Winnie the Pooh said it best: If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together there is something you must always remember… You are braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is even if we are apart I’ll always be with you.

August 24, 2019